The Freedom Tart

I made up a dessert today.

Basically, I made some delicious double chocolate chip cookies that were going stale. A microwave could rejuvenate them, but I don't have one. But I did have some leftover cream.

Eventually, my friends and I decided on a perfect name for this new dessert creation. But it is perfect only if you have a certain sense of humor. Don't get me wrong, the dessert is perfect either way, but the name may be an acquired taste.

May I present to you,

Freedom Tart

Built on the broken backs of stale dark chocolate cookies, with whipped cream, strawberries, and blueberries on top, it is the perfect metaphor for America.

You start with dark chocolate chip cookies that will be the foundation of your dessert. (Nestle's "double chocolate dream" cookies work here if you can find their recipe on the back of the bag). But, after a few days, they are looking a little worse for wear. The dessert really doesn't work without them, but you can cut some strawberries and add them to freshly whipped cream (whip 1 pint of heavy cream with 2 Tbsp sugar until stiff peaks form) and spread this over the broken chocolate cookies. (Once the cookies let you down, you must break them.) Top with blueberries for an extra dose of patriotism. You should not be able to even see the chocolate cookies, which again are the foundation of this dessert. It makes it easier if you don't see them - you can then pretend that they and their concerns don't matter.

"Mommy, why are the cookies broken?"

"Well honey, if they weren't broken, how would the rest of the tart stand up? Plus they are just naturally broken like that."

If you want to be technical, this is an unbaked tart; instead of a pie crust, the crust is provided by the broken cookie bits - without their consent of course - and the whipped cream, strawberries, and blueberries are the filling.

In much the same way as America was built on the exploitation of black slave labor, allowing it to become an economic power in the early stages after its creation, the Freedom Tart relies on the existence of an easily exploitable source of stale delicious chocolate cookies. Strawberries and whipped cream are mere fluff without this solid chocolate base.

I hope that you can enjoy this recipe. Joking aside, if you find yourself in the position of having too many double chocolate chip cookies, the Freedom Tart is an easy way to whiten - er, lighten up the stale dessert into a fresh new American treat.

[A picture could not be provided because we ate it too fast. It was damn good and tasted like Freedom.]

Eat, Drink, and Be Meriadoc

In the beginning there was Eru, the One, and he created the Ainur, and they made the world with their song. And then, some considerable time later, during the Fourth Age, someone posted this link on Facebook. And I knew that I had just been witness to The Greatest Idea Ever: a Lord of the Rings movie marathon hobbit feast. I knew I had all three extended editions of LOTR at Mom's, and that I would soon be there myself; and I knew that we would be watching the 2nd Hobbit film, and that I would again try to read The Hobbit to my nephew - which, given how little I see him and how quickly he falls asleep, is going to take FOREVER. Therefore I emailed my family and said "Make It So." And it was.

I'm sure my loyal readers need no assurance of my Tolkien Geek Cred. As the great link says, food is very important in Tolkien's world, a fact of which I'm well aware. Obviously food is important to the Hobbits, but as a theme it appears in very many places throughout both Bilbo's and Frodo's adventures. Whenever there is a respite from the toils of the road, there is a description of plain and simple food that makes "a loaf with honey and cream" sound like the most delicious thing ever. And when Frodo and Sam make it to Ithilien and Sam finally gets to use his pots and cook a brace of conies, and in the movie they never get a chance to eat it!, I just weep, knowing how starving they are and will be.

Sure, Mordor is terrible and the ring is a heavy burden, but having no food to get you there? How can a hobbit hope to go on?

Here follows an account of The Great Feast of 2014, in which we were too full and tired to even bother with the last course and skipped straight to dessert. We accompanied the food with (if I remember correctly) a sampler of New Belgium ales, red wine, and sherry. We couldn't find any decent mead, but at least we tried.

First Breakfast - 8am

Blackberry tarts from Bree. As the recipe says,

There was hot soup, cold meats, a blackberry tart, new loaves, slabs of butter and half a ripe cheese: good plain food, as good as the Shire could show.

Though I probably didn't put enough sugar in these, and the blackberries never quite liquified like I thought they would, the tarts were perfect and I want one now.

Second Breakfast - 9am, start FOTR

 

Fried eggs, tomatoes, crispy bacon, and ham. There is no recipe for this because who needs a recipe for this? I know how to fry an egg. Also, I'm assuming you all know what LOTR, FOTR, TTT, and ROTK mean because I expect a minimum of intelligence from my readers.

Elevenses - 11am

Elven Lembas Bread. This was the hit of the day. My nephew literally could not stop talking about it, and not being able to say "lembas" did not stop him.

Luncheon - 1pm, start TTT

Mushroom Soup from the Inn at Bree. Barliman really knows his cooking and apparently has access to a blender or food processor.

Afternoon Tea - 3pm

Lavender & Lemon Muffins, served with Portsmouth tea. The lemon extract we found in Mom's cupboard was probably less than 20 years old and totally okay to use.

Dinner - 5pm, start ROTK

 

Roast Mutton for the Trolls, with Shire pudding. (Get it? Yorkshire pudding??) OMG delicious. I'd never made yorkshire pudding before, and I decided it was like pancakes cooked in meat drippings. Lovely.

 

Supper - 7pm 

 

Daddy Twofoot's Eggplant Parm. There are no pictures because we never got around to this, plus we were at least an hour behind schedule. And since the 7th meal is technically outside the cannon, being part of the movie and not part of the books, we didn't feel obligated to follow our delicious lamb with some cheesy vegetables. Instead we went on to....

Dessert

We made ten cup ranger cookies, mostly because I really liked the description, "for Rangers in the field who only have one measuring cup with them." At this point we were done with pictures, so instead here's my niece, who had fun getting in our faces and messing with our food.